It is smoke and mirrors here. A complete magic show.
We look so independently the same in our attempts to look different because we want to be an individual.
The funny thing about patterns is that you have to repeat them to actually recognize that a pattern exists. I repeated them so many times it has become like a tacky Hawaiian shirt or plaid pattern on a hipster in Williamsburg. Shit stood out, only to fit in so seamlessly.
My sister could spot it each time I came home with a girlfriend, my friends expect me to say that I will be moving each year, works asks me when I plan to return to India during my yearly review. I do the same thing time after time.
I walk down the same path with my head held high underwater, not realizing that I am drowning. What changed in the game was when I began to notice the same pattens coming up again and again. I looked for the same thing in each path that would fulfill that part of me that was looking for validation about myself.
I have been striving for independence from something my entire life, first it was my parents, then it was school, a girlfriend, another girlfriend, my parents again, work, another girlfriend. Each time I walked down the same path with the same results. I did nothing different. I only thought it was a different situation, and I was more mature, evolved, and NOT going to walk down that path again. I AM FUCKING WRONG
I am recognizing the patterns a bit ‘more’ faster than I once had. It is making a difference, subtle, but the difference is there. It is almost like telling the future.
Do you want to know what your future has in store for you?