When I was in school I thought I had to get it right, whatever ‘it’ was and whatever ‘right’ was, they were what I had to do. I forgot that I was in school to learn. I forgot that it was ok to fuck up, get it incorrect, make a mistake, and actually learn. Instead I learned by trying to make it perfect, which often times it wasn’t and I would grow frazzled and anxious and ashamed about it not being perfect. With all of these triggers it is surprising I got out of school with a degree.
When I’m practicing yoga I sometimes have this same headfuck. I forget that I am in the room to practice, to learn, and instead I get so involved in doing something right and perfect, stressing myself out trying to remain calm and steady and not anxious, that ends up with me not practicing the real work of yoga. It is all backwards. I will make a conscious effort to make mistakes, great mistakes, and be patient with myself while doing so. I will look for opportunities to learn it the most repeated basic foundations, and I will make the mistake of forgetting to do so, and I will be patient with myself. I will be a student. I will forgive myself for not knowing everything and not being perfect because I am a super student who doesn’t have anything figured out, including being a student.


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